Who Am I?

I need to know who I am. I need to be who I am.

On Sunday, June 24th those words were spoken by my pastor, Buddy Gray. The words grabbed my heart in the most powerful of ways. Buddy preached about "One Baptism-Maintain the Unity". The One Baptism refered to being baptized in Christ Jesus. He said that what we must know is that we were united with Christ, we are now free from the controlling power of sin in our lives and it's a done deal. All past, present and future sins have been forgiven. Our old selves were rebellious against God but now Christ lives in us.

I was struck when he said that our old selves were rebellious against God because my sinful nature influences me to be rebellious today. I am rebellious at times against what He wants me to do, I am rebellious against His timing, I guestion His motives sometimes, I question why He puts me through things in life, I feel sometimes that my prayers are not even being heard. If my old self was even more rebellious before I knew Him, I am so thankful that I have been united with Him. It is amazing how God can love me unconditionally even though I am rebellious almost every day, I get angry at Him sometimes for things that happen in my life, I cry out in happiness and sadness in my prayers, but yet he died for my sins and Jesus Christ suffered on the cross for my sin. How does He love me so much but yet I have trouble sometimes loving those around me?

As I sat in the service on Sunday and I was thinking about how my life is blessed because I will spend an eternity worshipping our Lord, the final application included the words "I need to know who I am" and "I need to be who I am". I sat there dumbfounded as I said those words over and over in my head and I realized that my soul was being tugged on by my Lord. He was asking me to look at who I am and I am being the person He wants me to be and the person who is an example of His love for me? As I sat in church, I was overcome by a fear when I realized that I have not asked the Lord in a very long time if I am who I need to be and it is time for me to really look at who I am. Am I living my life to fullest for Him? Is He proud of who I have become? What do I need to change in my life to know who I am and who I need to be?

The "I need to know who I am" and "I need to be who I am" will stick with me for a lifetime because immeasurable joy will be present in my life when I am who the Lord wants me to be and when I give myself completely over to Him and I allow Him to show me who I am and who I need to be.