Marriage Lessons 101

I have been married for 11 days and I am amazed at how quickly I have learned several marriage lessons:

Marriage Lessons 101 by Alissa
1) I love my husband more and more every day.
2) No one can be totally prepared for marriage and no one can prepare you for marriage.
3) Loads of laundry piles up quickly and it never seems to end. 6 loads in one day!
4) If snoring is involved by one person, the other person must fall asleep first.
5) Pillow stealing can happen at any time of the night without the other person's knowledge.
6) Stealing of covers can lead to a fight for the covers at 3am.
7) Just because a donut box is empty doesn't mean that someone has eaten all of the donuts. Always check the 2nd donut box.
8) It is okay for one person to be upstairs on the computer while the other person is downstairs on a computer. Facebook allows for constant communication even when in the same house but on different floors.
9) I have cooked for my husband so that he will have lunch to take to work but I have never done that for myself.
10) It is wonderful to eat dinner together followed by a small container of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Chocolate fudge brownie! Yummy!
11) A mixed household (Auburn vs. Alabama) is possible.
12) It is easy to get someone addicted to satellite tv in one night. Woohoo!
13) Discuss grocery shopping tactics before going to the store. If one person walks every aisle while one person jumps from aisle to aisle, discuss grocery store etiquette before stepping through the doors.
14) If one person gets up before the other person, being quiet and polite in the morning disappears after two days.
15) Before my last name can be changed on anything, I have to go to the social security office except for the Alabama DMV who "pretended" that I changed my name at the SS office so that I wouldn't have to stand in line again. BTW, did you know that you can change your address on your driver's license to anything you want and they do not ask for one piece of evidence for proof.
16) Before I change my last name, I have to decide what I want to be called. Do I want to keep my middle name on everything or use my maiden name. The DMV recommended keeping my maiden name while the bank told me to keep my middle name. the DMV ended up putting four names on my license (first, middle, maiden and married name). I wish you could see my signature on my card.
17) My sweet husband puts my favorite shows on the tv although he didn't tell me one night so I never appeared in the den. Oops!
18) My sweet husband compromises on everything (okay, almost everything)!
19) Marriage is a constant compromise and I have A LOT to learn. I have a lifetime to learn it!
20) I am married to a wonderful, loving and caring husband!

Marriage Lessons 101 by Jamie
1) ALWAYS check your alarm clock, sometimes it gets turned off without your knowledge.
2) It is NEVER a good thing to upset both the father-in-law, the minister, and your wife in the same weekend.
3)15 is the magic number...
4) Sometimes it is better not to let your wife know your real IQ when playing a trivia game...It scared her.
5) The gulf water in December can technically cause the marriage to be illegal until one becomes a man again
6) There is always a good opportunity to have a friend administer the wedding rites...There is never a good time to find out he may not be certified. Luckily it turned out he was.
7) My old bed was a double, her's was a queen...Somehow we're now on a single.
8) When in doubt: agree, when in trouble: apologize, when you're right: keep it to your self because she will never admit to it.
9) "Our" house becomes "your" house when something either Breaks, flakes, or shorts out.
10) "Your" house becomes "ours" when it is fully decorated according to her standards...then she is right back to "yours" again when her hairdryer blows a fuse.
11) Crying on the honeymoon can mean that she is a little miffed.
12) Crying on the honeymoon can mean that she is very happy.
13) Crying on the honeymoon can mean that she is either "Pre, Mid, or Post Hormonal" which leaves one good week a month (Note: This was editted by wife who disapproved of what I put...see #8).
14) Just because there is a huge white elephant in the room, no one talks about it...No really, THERE IS A FREAKING WHITE CERAMIC ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!
15) "War Tide, This is Roll Eagle" is the closest I can get to cheering during the Sugar Bowl.
16) When the wife is mad, you had better believe that she will have the guest bedroom prepared FIRST.
17) Don't knock it til you've tried it
18) Covers are a commodity, basic rules of business apply: Who ever has the most at the end of the night, wins.
19) Pillows are stock options: they are bartered for, traded, and even stolen from time to time...but things always seem to balance out by the close of business.
20) Green Day Rocks as a processional: "Wake me when September Ends"
21) Alissa wants me to end on a happy note...How about D flat.