Chapters In Life

One closes and another one opens. Then another one closes and one more opens. It seems as though my life is about chapters especially right now. One year ago I was single, praying for a husband and family, getting ready to go back to school, and thankful that I had a job that I loved and I was surrounded by a wonderful group of Christian friends.

One year ago I was asking the Lord “Why am I still single?”, “What is wrong with me?”, “Will anyone ever want to marry me?”, “Am I going to be married and have a family one day?”, “Lord, if it is not your will for me to be married, please take the desire from my soul.”, “Lord if it is not Your will that I go back to grad school, please close that door.” “Lord, I need to know that You are there and I need peace and comfort.” “Lord, why, why, why?”, “Lord, please show me your way for my life.”

Fast forward one year and I have been blessed with a wonderful man whom I will marry in less than two months, I am in grad school full-time, I have a job that I love, and I am surrounded by a wonderful group of Christian friends. As I look back over the last few days, weeks, months and years, I see that God is in control of my life and when He closes on chapter in my life, He opens another. I think back on my days of praying for all sorts of things and thinking about the moments in my life when I would know that a chapter was opening or closing.

This week I was reminded of chapters as I cleaned out my storage unit and officially closed it out. I remember praying that the day I cleaned out my storage unit would be a time when I was doing it because I was moving into a home that had storage space. Guess what..my soon-to-be husband has a house with an attic. I laughed when I thought about how I prayed that I would be cleaning out my storage unit when I was moving to my future home and God reminded me this week that He is in the small things as well as the big things.

Another chapter in my life right now that is very sad for me is moving to a home where my sister (not technically sisters but we are sisters in Christ) will not be. My best friend and sister-in-Christ Anne has been there for me through EVERYTHING over the last almost 12 years. I am going to miss the days of asking her “does this outfit look okay?”, of walking out of my room on a Sunday morning and we are both wearing the exact same colors, having a woman to talk to about woman things at any time of day (I love my soon-to-be husband but it is just not the same as girl talk), talking about the trials of the day and how God is working in our lives, watching the cat do crazy and funny things for absolutely no reason, borrowing her jewelry at the last minute, and so many more memories that I can’t even put into words.

My “single” chapter in life is coming to an end but the “married’ chapter is opening. I am filled with excitement, nervousness, joy, and curiosity. I know that my soon-to-be husband is the one that God has put in my life to be married to but there are fears that pop up. I never realized that the idea of “forever” and a “lifetime” could be words that would encourage the thoughts in my head to whirl around and around. I am not scared of forever and a lifetime but I have been single for so long and I am so independent that I am working to give up the independence that I hold on to very tightly. I am so blessed because I have a man in my life who loves me unconditionally and without question, would do anything for me at any hour of the day when needed, he holds my hand in a way that shows the depth of his love for me, he challenges me on a daily basis, I want to be a better person for him, we worship together, he makes me laugh, we have come through a few challenges that have made us a stronger couple, and so much more.

As for chapters in life, bring them on. Some will be tough and some will be easy but I know that God is in complete control of my life and He opens and closes the chapters in my life as He sees fit.